


Sex-capades and Japes (Drone Season 2020)

by Ink and Glitter (DeddedbyGlamour)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Anal Sex, Bathroom Sex, Bathtub Sex, Bulges and Nooks (Homestuck), Clover (The Felt), Clover is a smug bitch, Clover is horny, Implied Japery, Karkat Vantas - Freeform, Karkat is angry, Karkat just wants some peace, M/M, Sexual Harassment, The Felt - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-28
Updated: 2020-08-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:29:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26152693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeddedbyGlamour/pseuds/Ink%20and%20Glitter
Summary: Karkat gets a bit more than he bargained for when he offers dinner to Clover from the Felt to get the man to stop blowing up his phone. What sort of sex-capades will these two get up to?
Relationships: Clover/Karkat Vantas
Comments: 1
Kudos: 5
Collections: Drone Season 2020





	Sex-capades and Japes (Drone Season 2020)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Stickly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stickly/gifts).



> Holy fuck, this was fun to write!!!

After damn near months of constant texts, snaps, and  _ suggestive _ pictures, Karkat was on the verge of losing his mind. Sure, he had put up with some horny bastards back on the meteor. Sure, he had been a bit horny during that time too! But this shit he was receiving from Clover of The Felt was just pure stupidity.

With each text came a riddle, a snap, a tease. The troll had finally started to cave just the  _ slightest _ , telling the Felt member that if he ‘shut the fuck up’ and stopped blowing up his phone, he would take him out to dinner or something.

What Karkat didn’t expect was the day of peace, followed that very evening by a small green fellow showing up at his door. Karkat could  _ feel _ his eye twitching as he stared Clover down, still half-dressed. That was bad enough as it was, that he was caught in his boxers and sweatshirt without much of a reason, but now he had this riddle-filled green dude standing in his doorway.

“What. The.  _ FUCK _ are you even fucking DOING HERE?” Karkat shouted, gripping at his hair roughly, “Are you fucking SERIOUS??? You took what I said SERIOUSLY?”

“Well o’course I took ya’ seriously, Karkat, what kinda guy would just say somethin’ like that an’ not mean it?” With that, he strolled in past the troll who looked like he was about to implode, removing that purple cap and tossing it up onto a coat rack where he  _ knew _ he wasn’t going to be able to get it from later.

If the two were living in a cartoon, you could practically hear the whistles blowing from Karkat’s ears as he fumed, puffing out his cheeks. The troll looked back through the doorway, and slammed the door shut, biting his lip a little bit.

“GOD DAMMIT, You are absolutely fucking insufferable! What the actual  _ fuck?! _ ” He was ready to blow his top, and not in a good way.

“Gosh, you seem mighty steamed there bud! I know what’ll put’cha in a better mood though- some good old fashioned japery! Nothing like a good riddle to lift the spirits, eh?” Clover was already starting to move his feet as he thought of a riddle, the first steps of a jig Karkat had seen far too many video clips of to fail to recognize- or to tolerate.

“ _ NO!! _ NO JAPES! NO FUCKING RIDDLES-” He was about to pull his hair out, “Ok- Fuck- If I fuck you like you’ve been wanting for the past few goddamn miserable months like a fucking creep since that first snap back in like… What, November? Like seriously, the fuck was that- Will you shut the everloving fuck up and leave me  _ alone _ ?!”

“A ‘course- y’know with how long it took to get to this point I was startin’ ta think ya just couldn’t take a hint!” Clover was already shrugging out of his coat, and his footwork picked up speed. In the swirl of dancing feet clover kicked his shoes off, launching them to land perched on the brim of his hat as he whirled in place.

The troll picked up the little green man with one arm, tugging his boxers down with his free hand, “Enough with the fucking whirling, I’m gonna be fuckin’ dizzy!” He kicked his boxers to the side, making his way to the bathroom with him. If they were going to do this  _ anywhere _ , they were gonna do it where Karkat could clean up the mess easily.

Kicking the door shut behind him, he pushed Clover over the bathroom counter, yanking the green man’s pants right off, “Just don’t make any noises or shit, please, I’m about to have a fucking  _ meltdown _ .” And he wasn’t wrong! Karkat’s fuse was getting shorter and shorter as each moment passed. He had to use one hand to hold Clover against the counter while his other worked himself up. The puppet-like man was lucky that troll bulges produced their own lubrication.

Clover was absolutely giddy! He had waited  _ months _ for this moment, lightly kicking his feet as he felt the wiggling appendage start to press between his cheeks. “No prep then?” He teased before he suddenly squeaked, feeling the bulge force it’s way up his ass without any prep whatsoever. It felt strange, feeling the wiggling inside of him. He had always wondered what this was going to feel like…

Without a warning, Karkat started to move, trying to ignore the groans from the leprechaun beneath him. “God you’re fucking loud.” He complained, pulling the other’s green form against him in a particularly harsh thrust. And, much to his own confusion… Karkat was finding himself to enjoy the feeling of being inside of Clover. And he absolutely  _ hated  _ that… So he clearly kept going!

Clover was a moaning mess before Karkat could even properly get going, sporting his own erection as he tried to steady himself, hands on the counter. He could feel each thrust, every time that wonderful appendage was pushed deeper into him. It was exciting, and by god was it driving the felt man absolutely  _ mad _ .  _ ‘This…’ _ He thought,  _ ‘Now this is ‘eaven.’ _

Karkat felt both pleasure and a strange curiosity bubbling up inside of him, lifting Clover up without having to pull him off of his erection, and shifting into the bathtub. No  _ way _ was he going to be able to get something like Clover’s cum out of the counter… The troll bent over Clover, starting to growl a little bit as he pulled the other against him.

There was no other place that would quite compare in Clover’s mind. Wrapped up in Karkat’s arms and being fucked out of his mind was the best thing that could have happened to him in that moment. He could feel himself approaching an edge swiftly, as if he were approaching a waterfall in a river of rapids. His head was spiraling, and his body was clenching, but that didn’t slow the troll down.

The sound of release below him just sent Karkat over the edge, pounding into Clover with all of his might. He could  _ feel _ Clover clenching around him, and Karkat’s pace fell off, his thrusting coming in bursts as he felt himself approaching the edge as well… Confusion, pleasure, and a feral instinct inside of him that the troll didn’t know he could possibly have all coiled into one spring that sent string after string of cum into that green, used asshole.

Collapsing down into the tub, the two stayed together, neither of them really moving, either because they were too tired or just didn’t want to. But Karkat could hear a chuckle from on top of him.

“‘Ow’s about a round two?”

**Author's Note:**

> The Riddles that were lined up for Clover to say:
> 
> What has many keys, but can't even open a single door?  
> A piano
> 
> You live in a one story house made entirely of redwood. What color would the stairs be?  
> What stairs? You live in a one-story house.


End file.
